When children grow and start to gain their independence and personality, one of the many issues most parents face is Discipline. Discipline in kids includes one of the usual dilemmas of whether to PALO or NOT TO PALO.
Little E is in his toddler years at age 2 years and 8 months. Admittedly, we have our off days and weeks of shouting, fighting, biting, etc. Sometimes we both had our meltdowns. It also becomes an argument between the hubby and I. We have some disagreements in the way of disciplining our kids because we have different perspectives.
But let’s clear the term Discipline, what really is it when it comes to our lovable little toddlers? Here’s a definition I learned from Manila Workshops when I attended one of their workshops last 2013. (sorry, it was really long time ago,)
Discipline, according to Mrs. Teresa Lilia B. Cabusora, Ph.D., is teaching children to respect themselves and others and to show that respect in the way they behave and interact with others. It is teaching them to help themselves develop their self-control. It is also NOT equivalent to punishment.
Child Development and Discipline
But how does discipline happen, the first three or four years of life are a period when the child’s brain grows to about two-thirds its full size, and evolves in complexity at a greater rate than it ever will again. These developments are simultaneous and continuous at a fast pace.
A toddler’s physical, cognitive, social and emotional, and language development is at its most accelerating speed which is why it is significant for parents, and families to instill discipline at an early age.
Parents and anyone working with children should also realize that the first and foremost learning starts from the emotional development of the child. That is why it is important for adults to support their children by respecting the child and the child’s needs, tolerance for a child’s feelings, and willingness to learn from a child’s behavior. We must keep in mind that children are intelligent beings that can comprehend rules and can identify their emotions. It is usual for children to have occasions of meltdown and it is important that we are there to help them ease their tensions.
So does discipline mean we spank and hurt our kids?
There are people who would tell us that it is okay to spank our children as our way of disciplining them. I have talked with some parents that experienced that kind of discipline with their parents and insists that it worked for them when they were younger.
Discipline in our Home
In my opinion, I don’t like to spank or hurt my child to discipline him, I hold on to the principle that my son can understand me. With this understanding, I know he can identify when his behavior is inappropriate. In the same way that I discipline through LOVE. I don’t hurt him because I don’t want him to hurt others just because they have done something wrong.
I also make him realize that rules are done by our family including him. Likewise, I praise him every time he does something good to others and to us, his parents. There is always an emphasis on us that he can control himself. Such control will help him become more independent and caring for others.
I have a lot to learn in teaching him discipline. Through the process, I am glad I discovered it through him as well. We have respect for each other which is what discipline really is, right?
So in your techniques in disciplining, do you adhere to spanking or not? What are your reasons?
Please share them with me too!